News from around the Fleet

Army Veteran Shares Personal Anecdotes of Resilience during Strategic Systems Programs National Disability Employment Awareness Month Observance

04 November 2024

From Edvin Hernandez

Strategic Systems Programs (SSP) welcomed Army veteran Tonya Oxendine to its National Disability Employment Awareness Month Leadership Learning Series on Oct. 31, 2024, to share her life and work experiences with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a representative of the Wounded Warrior Project.

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Oxendine, a former Army Command Sgt. Maj., was raised in poverty for most of her life. While growing up, she remembered seeing her mother scrape by to pay the electric bills – but Oxendine always found a way to turn her negative experiences into positive ones.

“Resilience,” she said to the SSP workforce inside the SPHQ Management Center. “I lived through poverty and pain, but transformed that into resilience and purpose. Blow after blow, life kept feeling like a heavy weight fight, but I found out early that true courage is about choosing to rise every time you fall.”

She joined the Army, serving for more than 30 years, and frequently wore several hats, including being a master paratrooper, which involved jumping out of airplanes regularly. Although she had an outstanding military career, Oxendine admitted her time in service took a toll on her mental health.

“There were moments in my life where I didn’t know if I’d be here,” she said. “They say life at the top as a leader is lonely and it certainly had its moments, but I also chose to isolate myself from people and not tell them that I wasn’t ok.”

She served her country valiantly in Afghanistan and other tours, which left her scarred with PTSD. Throughout her childhood and while in the Army, Oxendine survived several instances of sexual assault. At the time, there weren’t many resources to help service members with that specific type of trauma and it was an era where women weren’t always believed about their abuser. For Oxendine, these experiences began to affect her negatively.

She recalled having suicidal thoughts one day as she was driving back from work and crossing a bridge, but reminded herself that her children needed her.

“That’s when I knew I needed to do something about this,” she said. “Taking my life would have changed my kids’ lives forever. I drove up to Ft. Belvoir and immediately sought help. As a leader and through my enduring painful experiences growing up, I became so used to putting my walls up and not accepting help – feeling like ‘if this is something I need to endure, then so be it because I didn’t want to go back to living poor.’”

She was diagnosed with PTSD and depression and said there were days she felt it was almost impossible to move. When one of her sons nicknamed ‘Bam’ saw Oxendine struggling at home, he decided to put his career on hold to care for his mother.

“My son became my lifeline,” she said. “When he was born, one of the first things I said as I looked at him was ‘I got you,’ but in reality he had me. Bam put his career on hold to take care of me. He fed me, moved me close to the window so the sun would hit my face, and looked after me. My son taught me the value of support.”

As she began to learn to live with her PTSD and depression, Oxendine said the imaginary walls that people put up are not only barriers to keep others away, but also barriers that prevent someone from asking for help. Although she had been resilient and independent most of her life, especially as a military leader, she admitted asking for help was critical for her and her family.

“I am so grateful to be alive today for my boys,” she said. “I am thankful to the Wounded Warriors Project and to my family who supported me through one of my darkest chapters. Never forget that resilience is a continuous effort, but make no mistake, you must be intentional about it. You must be intentional in asking for help.”

Today, Oxendine is an advocate for the Wounded Warriors Project and champions mental health resources that are available to military veterans. Kelly Lee, the Director of Plans and Programs for SSP, applauded Oxendine for her bravery, courage, and inspirational story.

“We all have different traumas that affect us,” Lee said. “Asking for help, or providing it, is not a weakness. As military and civilian leaders, we must be mindful of how our employees are doing. Check in on each other and break down those barriers.”

To learn more about the Wounded Warriors Project, visit https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/programs.

Civilian workforce assistance and support is available via DONCEAP at https://www.magellanascend.com/.

SSP is the Navy command that provides cradle-to-grave lifecycle support for the sea-based leg of the nation’s nuclear triad. This includes training, systems, equipment, facilities and personnel responsible for ensuring the safety, security, and effectiveness of the nation’s Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile (SLBM) Trident II (D5LE) Strategic Weapon System.

Contact

Thomas Jones
thomas.c.jones@ssp.navy.mil

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